"Hey Anytime I Can Heart My Good Hearty Buddy Heart. HEART"~HJ

Emoticons--hate 'em or love 'em, they are ubiquitous in the world of social technology. They are almost universal--transcending language, class and distance. They can change the whole tenor of a non-verbal conversation.

So, what happens when we take those little faces and symbols and transliterate them back into the English written language? How do people react to this, and why?

This is a major issue facing the youth of today. To emote through picture or through words? How far is too far? To answer these questions, I interviewed a handful of friends. Keep in mind that these are all white, middle class, liberal twenty-somethings, three are male, two are female...In short, the scientific method didn't even cross my mind, and these results may be a tad biased. Also, the only thing I asked was, "How do you feel about the use of 'heart' as a verb? As in 'I heart sweaters.'"

Why sweaters you ask? Well, This all started because my friend said that she had finally whipped out her sweaters, ready for the chilly season to begin. Here is the conversation (for all of you who wonder what highly intellectual things I do in my freetime):

Friend: i broke out the sweaters
Me: i heart sweaters
Friend: please don't ever use heart as a verb around me again
Me: i'm always gonna use it now
I actually don't know if I've ever used it as a verb...but now, i will, forever
Friend: i would honest to god stop talking to you
me: whatever
(3 minutes pass)
Me: I think it's lame too, it seemed fitting to use with sweaters though
(16 minutes pass)
Me: what if I said "I <3 sweaters"
Friend: let's just drop it
Me: fiiiiiinnneeeeeee

In light of this conversation, I began to ask other friends. Here are the results (I have changed names for anonymity, in case anyone would be offended that I am sharing these highly private conversations--However, if you would like to be recognized, and you bitch enough, I guess I can edit this):

Interviewee #1: HJ
Me: How do you feel about using "heart" as a verb?
as in "I heart sweaters"
or "I heart cowbells"
HJ: i was gonna say... it depends on the context
HJ: but then again, i don't really know of a context where it wouldn't be at least somewhat lame
:)
i heart you alex
Me: hahahaaa
you're right, that was more than somewhat lame
thanks
HJ: hey anytime i can heart my good hearty buddy heart. HEART.
Me: <3

Interviewee #2: Moustachio
Me: How do you feel about the use of "heart" as a verb?
as in "I heart sweaters"
or "I heart potato salad"
(13 minutes pass--it's a tough question)
Moustachio: hmmm
i <3 you
yeah
it works
but make sure to tell the kids that it is not used all the time
Me: oh, ha! it's not with the kids
I was having an argument with someone
Mustachio: oh
i seeee
Me: I should teach the kids that though
Moustachio: i guess i was confused
we're going to a wedding
Me: yes we are, and I heart weddings
Moustachio: me too
i <3 them

Interviewee #3: Alpal
Me: question: how do you feel about the word "heart" being used as a verb?
as in, "I heart chocolate"
or "I heart sweaters"
Alpal: it bothers me. unless said in jest
i don't like the world of abbreviated language via emoticons or other symbols being reconverted back in to the language
like saying i winky face at you
what do you think?
Me: hahahaaa
yeah, that's bad
but hilarious
it pisses one of my friends off so badly, that I want to heart everything
I'm gonna have to add on the other emoticons
Alpal: haha
haha,please do!

Interviewee #4: This Guy
Me: How do you feel about the use of "heart" as a verb? As in, "I heart sweaters" or "I heart eating Pizza School three days a week, and I can because I only ate 1.5 pizzas over those three days." (fyi, Pizza School is a Korean chain that sells $5 ~9" pizzas)
This Guy: I knew some girls once who overused heart as a verb and they kind of ruined it for me.. So while I may never use it, I accept it in small doses. But used in any context of Pizza School is ok with me. (Edit: except in the negative. I don't heart Pizza School is an unacceptable form of using heart as a verb.)

Results
As you can see, I did use some rather leading questions in terms of the appropriateness of the use of "heart" as a verb. I think the results are fairly clear though. Using heart as anything other than a noun is lame. It always has been and it always will be. It is especially lame when people use it seriously. The lameness factor decreases or increases according to what person or object the affection is being addressed.

One interviewee didn't seem to understand that I was referring to using "heart" in place of "<3" but that's okay. S/he was confused. At least s/he hearts weddings.


I haven't touched much on the other emoticons and symbols. I used to scoff at them, a lot, until I realized how silly some of them are. I will use them as a form of endearment, or annoyance, or just plain silliness. I will not use them in many e-mails. I will use them on facebook posts. I will not use them with certain people. I will overuse them with others. I am a flip-flopper when it comes to emoticon use.

All in all, using emoticons is weak enough, and then to turn around and just flat out bastardize the English language...it's too much.

I might still do it though, sparingly--to piss certain people off.

Abbreviations are a whole other bucket of worms
On that note, LOLFOL and I googly eye at you,
heart,
a